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figlogo1 Fig Biographical Information

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Ted Fry or "The Silver Throat" as he is known in all the best circles (like Stonehenge), is the Figs' mentor, guru, confessor, and surrogate father. Appearing at the Charlottetown Festival in the title role of "Anne of Green Gables" (Mr Green Gables himself), Mr.Frye is a highly accomplished contralto with basso profundo overtones and his vocals and wizardry at the microscope are legendary from Phelpston to Hillsdale. With the assistance of assorted cattle prods and livestock stimulants (the Figs are in indebted to the Huronia Society for the Suppression of Rodents for these "supplies), Ted's on stage performance can often be described as "electrifying".

Biographical details:
Favourite Drink: "Revival Special" (3 parts Cointreau, 4 parts Geritol, 6 parts Labatt's Blue, a dash of STP)
Sponsor: The Stratford Wheelchair and Brewing Company
Hit Records: "I'm Only a Cockeyed Occulist" from "The Figs on Broadway"

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Roger "The Lodger" Kerslake - recognizably a native of Devon by the flecks of rancid clotted cream stuck in his voluminous beard, Roger is a leading evangalist for the venerable Figleaf philosophy "Practising Cuts into Drinking Time". Smegley's recent Two-for-One rental of less than desirable burial plots near the sheep dip inspired Roger to plant an allotment of "medicinal herbs" after his graduation from Camp Turnaround. Roger has been assigned a fulltime "nurse" from the Ontario Department of Animal Husbandry to advise him on which end of his trombone to stick the mouthpiece in.

Biographical Details:
Zodiac Sign: Aquarium the Fish
Occupation: Hubcap Inventory Clerk, Coney Island Wreckers, Port McNicoll
Club: Ex-Gentlewomen's Lawn Bowling and Snorkelling Society of the Near Arctic
Hit Record: "The Church Bell Won't Ring Tonight Cos the Vicar's Got the Clapper" from "The Figs Play Sacred and Secular Songs That Will Live Forever"

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Geoff Mulholland (piano and virginals) a high ranking officer in the Air Force (War of 1812) Geoff once used his aviational skills to musical advantage by throwing himself headlong down three flights of stairs, closely followed by an 84 key electronic piano, an exquisite Fender amplifier, a Massey Ferguson tractor and the sheet music for "Twas on a Pile of Debris That I Met Her" and "Never Heave Your Bosom in a Front Hook Bra"

Biographical Details:
Club: Southern Ontario Geranium and Badger Step Dancing Society
Regiment: Queen's Own Light Ale Quaffers
Favourite Colour: Ambre au Molson

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John Potts, known ironically as "Potsi" by disillusioned Figomaniacs, is thought to be almost as old as his trumpet, a relic of the Third Crusade. The instrument's handcrafted wooden valves may account for Potsi's stumbling finger technique and excruciating tone, as well as the small heaps of sawdust frequently found on the stand following fast numbers. All of the Figs recordings were made over the vociferous protests of their personal physician, a highly respected though recently disbarred veterinarian. Doctor Weasel's fears for Potts' chronic physical and mental incapacity were somewhat overcome after he wired the trumpet player's pacemakers to two 12 volt car batteries and the Pottmeister suddenly began to play with unexpected abandon.

Biographical details:
Occupation: Sardine trainer and small rodent hair stylist
Musical training: are you kidding?
Zodiac Sign: Androcles the Loin
Career Highlight: Appeared in Museum of Civilization Exhibition "Musicians, Stick Insects, Sphagnum Moss and Other Primitive Life Forms"

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David "Dill Pickle" Rawlings - after 25 years of intensive study at the Saskatchewan Clinic for Disabled Rodents and a Beef Jerky Factory in Inuvik Dave is now a master of the one string banjo with an encylopedic knowledge of 4 chords. Dave's moustache (which is home to several species of once thought to be extinct vermin) has recently been declared a nature reserve and national park by the Audobaun Society.
Biographical Details:
Zodiac Sign: Herpes the Crab
Hobbies: Underwater weasel wrestling and mouse hurling
Nose: 348cm fully extended. Site of the 2026 Winter Olympics
Hit Record: "Never Kiss a Lady When Her Mouth Is Full of Snuff" from "The Figs Play the Hank Williams Songbook"

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Bruce Rumble (nom de plume "Juice" - 3rd Bass and Line Backer for the Painswick 69ers) - formerly of the Andrews Sisters and Spice Girls (until his unfortunate snowmobile accident) has recently been playing with renewed resplendence following a court mandated sojourn at an experimental clinic and herring farm in Grasshopper Narrows, Manitoba. Rumours of his struggles with bulemic anorexia are said to be have been exaggerated by the Jane Fonda and Freight Watchers.
Biographical Details:
Occupation: Shipping Clerk and bouncer at Zorro's Funeral Parlour and Convenience Store in Fesserton
University Degrees: 3 Celcius
Hit Records: "I Come From Alabama with a Bandaid on My Knee" (from "The Figs Live in Bosnia")

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Russ Strathdee "Doctor Sax" - his licence to practice "medicine" from the disreputable University of Southern Innisfil and Mr PhotoKopy in the Kovlov Centre. Imagine a 5600lb Bull Moose in full rut, several thousand Canada geese startled from a corn paddy by a herd of meat crazed wolverines, stir in a Boeing 747 with no muffler taking off from Pearson, and you have some inkling of the ferocious power of Dr. Sax MD howling his way through a particularly terrifying solo. Russell plays all the saxophones from the dainty soprano to the gigantic baritone which contains enough scrap metal to refit the entire Canadian Navy (also used for storing broken down snowmobiles, three sides of beef, assorted lobsters and a shipment Toronto refuse)

Biographical details:
Favorite Song: "If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo" (from "The Figs' Greatest Hit")

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